Dodging demons (poem)

I run away

hiding in books

chasing sentences that do not resemble me

in an effort not to see

the chaos that is my life

I look into the darkness

for a place to lay my head

where I don’t have to face reality

I disappear instead

dodging demons lurking behind unseen corners

don’t want to deal with reality any longer

I find solace in a substance that warms me to the core

I’m all out of Cabernet

Still I reach for more

my focus becomes fuzzy

the edges lose focus

if I drink enough maybe I wont notice

the responsibilities waiting for me to sober up

maybe they will disappear before I wake up

with luck

they will be gone

or I will be better able to deal

with circumstances that want to steal

my joy, my happiness

my focus, my light

my outlook has become gloomy

my smile is  not as bright

I know I can get through this

I have been here times before

reaching for equilibrium

seeking stabilization once more

A rut. A funk. Mental stagnation

this constant state of melancholy

for it im I’m out of patience

depression becoming anger

don’t have time for mental unrest

this pessimistic persona is stopping me from being my best

Do you ever feel like escaping?

leaving it all behind?

do you feel the need to be free from it all?

or is this struggle only mine?

dodging demons

This poem © MoodyMommi Published Dec 13, 2012

What say you?

10 thoughts on “Dodging demons (poem)

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  4. I like this poem, especially this part: “I look into the darkness/for a place to lay my head/where I don’t have to face reality/I disappear instead/dodging demons lurking behind unseen corners/don’t want to deal with reality any longer.” Reminds me of myself when I’m struggling with depression and not wanting to move out of my bed, stuck frozen under the covers cause I’m afraid that when I flinch everything will come bearing down on me again. I like your honesty.

    • Depression sucks, for lack of a more eloquent way to describe how debilitating it can be. My goal is to be honest, raw and reckless in my writing. I hope that by doing this I will find healing. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Much appreciated.

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